;

Russell Brand

Please find me, I want to meet up lovey.  I believe that I would enjoy your British accent.

I HAVE FINALLY COME TO REALIZE THAT I AM PURSUING A CAREER IN ART SUCH AS  D E S I G N , photography, MODELING?

I AM SO EXCITED, I HAVE FINALLY BEEN SET FREE.

you must understand that previous to this I didn`t think my parents would still pay for school if I pursued a career of such [art] amazingness !

I feel lonely, I need to start branching myself out to new people in different places… :]

Growing

Everything is a repetitive cycle of establishing a higher authority to another aspect of life.

Ever since I can remember, I have had this vision of what it would feel, look, and be like to be ‘older’ and ‘grown up’.

But over time I have come to realize that it is nothing you could ever prepare for.

Things that you figure out as you begin living, and walking, running, skipping, and falling down the path of your life would shock, and horrify your small child perceptions of the world.

It deeply disturbs to think about how innocent and sheltered my life was when I was just a child, and to think now how everytime I face my dad at home he tells me about how he cannot wait until I ‘move out and get a life’ or until I ‘grow up and take responsibility for shit, and stop living in party land’.

Whatever that means to me, coming from a man who couldn’t even get passing grades in High School, and was too naieve to try to go to college and get a degree.

I feel so empty, degraded, and deeply depressed whenever the hateful words storm out of his mouth. Sometimes I wander off and wonder if he even knows what he is saying, or if he understands how I feel.

Anytime I try to talk, I get talked over, interrupted, or told that I am being disrespectful; when all I am trying to do is explain myself or even educate him on how I actually feel about the subject of the matter. As if he cares anyways.

I need to take his negativity and make it into my own drive, to get out and away from him. Make my own life so he doesn’t have to worry about me and he can worry about making sure he is on time to all the Football games and Wrestling meets.

I’m just a burden, and I am ready to get the fuck out of here.

want

I want to be more

I want to take photographs

I want to take the time to put effort into hobbies

I want to loose the lbs i gained at school

I want to keep the lessons I gained at school

I need to want more

All I have been doing is working.

I got a haircut.

1234567890

I will never be understood.

Feeling as if having close friends is something I was not put here to have.

What is so completely different about me, that varies from everyone else.

Why do I feel so alone, although I am being smothered by a crowd?

This tiny hole some how cannot be filled, but I still cannot seem to find what was in the place of the hole before I felt it was missing.

Some things are better left unthought.

When will this go away?

CCC

if you could hold the world in your arms

if you can lace your fingers inbetween sparks

if you can jump from below

you know that it is real

i feel as if i could fall back or fall forward and either way i would be caught

.

this boy is too much for me

my soul has been cleansed and my heart has been mended

not with a needle but with a kiss.

<3

i love.

i love.

and i love dustincodystewart.